


Come To Peace, Slowly

by Halo (CenturianTale)



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Human Revenant (Apex Legends), Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Revenant Headcanons (Apex Legends), Soft Revenant (Apex Legends), Tsundere Revenant (Apex Legends)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26464762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CenturianTale/pseuds/Halo
Summary: (Y/N) helps Revenant through a kind of PTSD like experience. He 'woke up' after remembering how he died, all because he tried to sleep again. They are they just for him ro talk, and they manage to calm him down
Relationships: Revenant (Apex Legends)/Reader
Kudos: 25





	Come To Peace, Slowly

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on AO3 so.. sorry if there is bad formatting or something. I wrote this with Google docs and copied and pasted

_A small hum rings throughout the huge apartment, eyes closed as a young man laid on his bed. He was maybe around his very early 20s, very young and for the most part fresh out of college. Why did he choose the job he chose? When he knew he could lose his life at any moment? Simple, it made great money quickly. Granted, if he was ever caught by officers or something, he’d most likely be arrested but… The thought of almost getting caught was somewhat exciting, it added to the thrill._

_He had a small smile on his face as he opened his eyes, there wasn’t too much of a reason but he was in a good mood, although he was tired. He barely got any sleep last night as he was out running errands and had a mission the night before. He got up with a small groan after stretching. “Can’t wait for the weekend, I’ll finally have a few days off” He said to himself and got up, walking to the kitchen and making some coffee. “Hmm…” He hummed “I should probably get an energy drink to keep from passing out today. Not the best of choices but I’ll eat an actual meal later.” He sighed and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day, he had a mission later in the afternoon, what fun. Right?_

A shifting was heard in the bed, golden eyes lighting up as the simulacra powered back on, it was like that day was stuck on repeat.. And he hated it. He hated it so much, it’s why he rarely went to ‘sleep’. He sat in bed for a few minutes, thinking through that day, if he could change the past, he most likely would.

He remembered that day like it was yesterday, how he made a promise, and broke it. It was just a promise and some might think it's childish to get hung up over something like that, but a promise was a promise. When he was human, him and his friends and sister were serious about promises and never made promises they knew they couldn’t keep. He thought he could’ve kept it. If only he’d known sooner.

_“Oh, in your favorite outfit, I see” The girl laughed some and the blonde chuckled “Yes. I like red, don’t judge me. Anyways, I gotta head out in a few, I have ANOTHER mission today and I’m running on about…” The boy trailed off some “Like… less than an hour of sleep, coffee, and an energy drink.” He grinned ear to ear some, as if it was funny. The young woman sighed “You need to take care of yourself-” “I know MOM. I would but I had a mission until late last night and had errands to run, I'll have an actual meal, don’t worry.” He cut her off, shrugging a bit. Sensing someone behind him, he quickly turned around_

_“BOO!”_

_“JESUs- You gotta stop doing that, I’ll end up back handing you for it one of these days.” The boy said with a small growl in his throat, a slightly smaller boy laughed “You’d never hurt me, Zak~” He cooed jokingly, “I can make a bet on that statement”, the younger one shook his head as a few others showed up, a few were around 2 years older, and the younger there was 19 “You’re too paranoid, Zacharie” Another girl said, “Kinda have to when you could be hunted for killing important people, y’know Mackensie?” Zacharie crossed with a playful scowl “Don’t work there, simple” His sister said, well.. Adopted sister but sister is sister “Well A. I needed money at the time and B. Once you’re in, it’s kinda hard to leave. Try again” He huffed softly and she chuckled softly “You just like the thrill.” ''And if I do?” He tilted his head, Miya patted his head softly “I can’t do anything about that.” She said_

He wished he could go back, oh god he wished. He missed them, he missed Miya and Joseph. He missed Mackensie and Sai,he missed all of them. He realized that his sister's worry was justified and that she wasn’t just overreacting and she wasn’t just being overly cautious, he was just being overly naive.

He got up and contemplated leaving his room, he didn’t want to but if he did, he’d get to see (Y/N), they were the only reason he was willing to leave his room when they games weren’t in session, although.. Now that he remembered, there was a game today, so may as well leave the room anyways. Before even going to the door, he heard a knock. “Rev, you up?” A voice asked curiously, there they were. “Yes, why?” He responded, acting as though he wasn’t interested in what they had to say at all.

The door creaked open slightly. “We got a game today, remember?” They tilted there head as they stepped into the room, “Yeah, I just remembered now. Kinda surprised you remembered before me” He said with a small growl “Whatcha thinking about?” The short legend asked curiously, well.. They were definitely shorter than Revenant, it’d be surprising if they were his height or taller. “Nothing” He said blandly and (Y/N) wandered over to them with a hum “Doesn’t look like it, something’s on your mind” They said with a small shift in their stance “How do I look like it if I can’t make facial expressions-” (Y/N) cut him off “Your eyes say everything, peoples eyes are one of the most expressive parts of someone's body” They said gently yet firmly ‘Of course you knew that… You draw a lot’ He thought to himself and made an artificial sigh, (YN) always said it sounded like an UTAU breath sample, he knew what that was, he used it a bit. Mostly when he was a human for shit-posting. “Just stuff. None of your business” He said lowly, he acted indifferent to them but.. To some it could be obvious he cared somewhat for them.

“C’mon. You know you can tell me. Of course, you don’t HAVE to, I’m not forcing you, I’m just telling you I’ll listen.” (Y/N) said softly as they sat on the floor, their legs crossed as they looked up at him. “You’re relentless” “And you are too” They responded with a small grin, “Now, what's bugging you?” They asked curiously and Revenant rolled his golden optics

“I decided to try and shut down again..” He said just barely above a mutter, “Oh?” They tilted their head some “Believe me if you want, people already think I’m crazy, but I had a dream. The same dream I had every other time I tried ‘sleeping’.” The simulacrum looked at the floor, his optics switching from a golden yellow to an orange, and then back to golden. “What is it about?” (Y/N) asked, blinking a bit out of curiosity “That day… That I died. Before I was this thing I am now.” He growled some

_“Ight, I’m about to head out. Work to do, people to kill. The usual” Zacharie said jokingly “Alright, be careful, Zak, ya hear me?” Miya called to him as he headed to him ca. The young adult looked over his shoulder and waved as a goodbye and in dismissal “I’ll be fine, trust me. I do this on a daily basis and you know it.” He said with a chuckle “Come STRAIGHT BACK here afterwards alright?” Miya stated sternly “I’ll come right back, don’t worry!” Zacharie turned and looked at her with a huff “I’ll be fine, and I’ll be back immediately._ **_I promise_ ** _.” He smiled and got in his car, driving off to the location of the target_

**_I promise_ **

Those words echoed in his mind still, he promised, he promised, he promised and he broke that promise. He broke that promise, broke her heart, made his friends and sister cry, and he couldn’t change anything! He was practically helpless and he despised it. It wasn’t the people he hated, sure.. He hated the Syndicate somewhat for what happened but.. He also hated his stupidity and naivety. He was overly confident and didn’t go in with a shred of caution, that was what caused his death, and he knew it. He blamed himself for dying, but blamed Hammond Robotics for forcing him to become a Simulacrum, they brought him back just so they could take his mind, he was going to end Hammond Robotics one way or another. To him, killing Forge was just barely scratching the surface.

“Revenant.” The voice sounded far off and maybe a bit muffled “Revenant…” The voice repeated, becoming a little cleared, and sounded like it was said in a sing-song tone. “Revenant!” Finally he was snapped back to reality, he shook his head quickly “What?!” He asked with annoyance in his voice “You kinda went into a daze or something” They said and he sighed “Oh..” he replied simply, “What happened.. To make you keep dreaming about it?” (Y/N) asked, worry was kind of present in their voice, “I..” He averted his optics, he hated talking about this topic. He felt vulnerable when he talked about it, because it was a sensitive subject for him. He didn’t like when people asked about his human life or what happened, but (Y/N) was the exception solely for the fact that they actually cared and listened instead of groaning at him speaking or anything. (Y/N) was genuinely curious, and wanted to help if they were able to. “You..?” (Y/N) tilted their head, snapping Revenant out of his thoughts once more “I made a promise..” He said, crossing his arms with a short huff “Okay..? So what? Did you break it?” They asked, getting confused.

“Yep.. I broke the promise. My sister, friends, and I were always really serious about promises and we never made promises we knew we couldn’t keep or didn't know if we could keep. Whenever one of us would break a promise, we felt horrible and would apologize the entire day. Promises were serious when made and we'd hold you up to it" Revenant explained, shifting some and fidgeting a small bit.

"Oh… What.. What was the promise?" (Y/N) asked, their expression softening some, "I told her I'd be back.. that I'd be fine. She told me to come back to her house immediately after the mission, I told her I would and that I would be fine, I promised I would.." He growled some "It's annoying me to high hell. I can't stand it. The words are echoing through my mind reminding of what I did wrong" He said, starting to get frustrated and (Y/N) stood up "Calm down" They said calmly, “You didn’t know. Granted, you should’ve been more careful considering the work but.. Still” (Y/N) spoke softly and understandingly. Sure, they never went through all that Revenant has gone through but.. It’s better to try and help. “If we’re being honest, I wish time travel was real. I’d change everything. Kind of like the movie Butterfly Effect” Revenant said with a harsh breath “But, if we go by the movie, then it could cause drastic changes as well, remember?” (Y/N) pointed out. True. “yes, but this isn’t the Butterfly Effect plot. So..” He said, “Yeah, but you gotta think.. What would’ve happened if you ACTUALLY made it out alive? Would you still have become this? Would have gone to cryogenic storage? Stuff like that.” (Y/N) said with a small grin “I’d be able to keep the promise I made. That’s what I DO know.” He rolled his optics and shrugged and (Y/N) face palmed “Oh, and Loba’s parents most likely wouldn’t have died… at least… Not by me anyways so I’d be home free from her. Hallelujah.” Revenant added, playing around with that small orangish and black ball from a compartment in his arm. “True… Because a human being cannot survive over 200 hundred years, logically. Unless you do cryogenic storage” (Y/N) nodded in agreement “If you were 24 and went into cryogenic storage for 200 years, wouldn’t that actually make you 224? But you still look like you’re 24 and not old as hell?” He tilted his head some, an odd question but a good question “I… Don’t know…” They trailed off “Now that’s immortality.” Revenant chuckled lowly and they laughed some “The downside is that there’d probably be new technology and you’d have no idea how to use it” (Y/N) giggled some and sat on a chair in his room.

_The young man arrived at the building, it was at least more than 30 stories tall. He snuck up the building, parkouring up the building to the roof, he landed with a fair amount of grace, he had been doing this for a while now. He snuck through the door on the roof, sneaking past some guards, and killed them quietly only when needed, he was confident in himself, so he didn’t think he needed to be too quiet. He just thought he would get in, kill the target, get out. Simple, right?_

_Wrong._

_He underestimated the target and his bodyguards, if only he could’ve done something different. Now, here he was. Back towards a window that seemingly could shatter at any moment, pistol in hand tightly, he was cornered. But this is Zacharie, who could also be known as Revenant… This was the Syndicates GREATEST assassin, he’d be fine…. Right…?_

_Something whizzed passed, while it came past it sounded like it sliced something, at that same moment he had felt a stinging sensation, along with the feeling of choking almost. His neck felt wet… Why was his neck wet? His hand raised to his throat, his blue eyes widening, he looked down at his hand, which was now soaked with blood. His blood. Everything looked like it went into slow motion, and he somehow felt like he was watching a movie. His ears started to ring some, he couldn’t keep his vision in focus, he was starting to panic but he tried his best to keep composure, as long as he killed them he could get out alive. He raised his gun and quickly shot the target, releasing a shaky breath he didn't know he was holding. All had to do was escape, if he fled he wouldn’t have to deal with the guards, he was just about to run until_

**BANG**

“Revenant!” A voice was getting louder, what was going on? The ringing in his ‘ears’ was getting him annoyed and irritable, it wasn’t until he was shaken roughly that he was taken out of his trance. “Huh?!” He shook his head and pushed (Y/N) some. They stumbled back some “Are you okay? You keep going into a daze, tell me the truth. You don’t LOOK okay” They said worriedly and slightly harshly. “I’m. Fine…” His voice seemed to trail off, “Just.. Let me have my time alone, jesus is it that hard?” He growled and (Y/N) huffed “Rev, you gotta stop acting like thi towards me. I want to help but I can’t if you don’t let me” They stated, studying him optics, contrary to popular belief, he could still somewhat express emotion outside of words. As long as you studied his eyes. They.. didn’t look normal, they seemed somewhat far off, and he looked like he was, somehow, dissociating. He couldn’t keep his focus and seemed to be forgetting what he was talking about, going silent in the middle of a sentence. Wasn’t this a sign of PTSD? (Y/N) believed it was, but wasn’t too sure.

“I’m-” “Don’t lie. I can tell you’re lying. You look far off. Like you’re not exactly here” shit

“Just.. Thinking. That’s it.” Revenant said, it was a lie. A plain lie and even someone like Mirage would be able to see that. “You know, you’re pretty bad at lying in situations like that.” (Y/N) said, crossing their arms “Well, I never have been able to sneak things past you, have I?” He looked at her from the corner of his peripheral vision “You’re too good at reading people sometimes” He then added lowly. “Well, I’ve dealt with enough people at his point to see who’s lying and who isn’t” (Y/N) said softly. Revenant felt himself not being able to focus again, he tried his best but it was hard to not think about it, especially when it’s there, so vivid in the mind. (Y/N) noticed this too.. But this time, stayed quiet, aside from a soft and quiet “Are you okay?”

_His body jolted a bit, his thought process seemed to pause as he stumbled backwards. Towards the glass. Zacharie felt liquid trickle down his head, dripping down his nose, mouth, and his chin, this liquid.. It tasted like copper. He wiped his eyes and mouth, seeing blood, a lot of it. He started to feel weak as he hit into the glass, the already semi-shattered glass finally shattered with a crash._

_He fell down at a high speed, tears pricked his eyes as he started to cry a bit. He was rapidly falling to his death, and there was NOTHING to break his fall. ‘No… No… The promise… I broke it…’ He thought “I BROKE MY PROMISE” he screamed as he felt his head hit something, whatever hit him was sharp. This was it, this was how he died. He wouldn’t get to see his friends again, he wouldn’t get to see his sister again._

_He hit the ground, and it all went dark._

_For some reason he still felt awake, he felt alive somehow. He didn’ know why though. Realistically, he shouldn’t be alive from that drop and the wounds. He opened his eyes some with a soft pained groan_

“Revenant, look at me” A voice came softly, it sounded far off again, and familiar

_A white light blinded him, he tried to lift his arm to block the light, only to realize that his arms were tied down. His entire BODY was tied down. He struggled a bit as a man in a white lab coat walked in “Thi is the Syndicates best assassin? Yet.. Still managed to get himself killed. How tragic” The man chuckled “Seems you have some friends and family who care about you. What a shame, we’ll have to call them and send our condolences” He said, handing a clipboard to a young petite woman, the woman scurried out quickly, most likely to make the phone calls. Zacharie whimpered and shook his head, he desperately tried to get free of his restraints but he felt sluggish as well. He was drugged._

_“Zacharie Kitt.. 23 year old male, blonde with blue eyes. Obviously. No known mental health disorders, good. In good health, no sign of any diseases. Also good. You'll be the perfect guinea pig for our new project. If this works out, we’ll be able to make many more. I think you should feel honored, not ONLY will you get to continue your work, but you’ll get to live forever as well.” The scientist smirked, Zacharie didn’t like that look, and what he said made it worse. If he was going to die, he would stay dead. He didn’t want to be immortal, no.._

_A machine started up and the young male panicked, he as stuck in a barely familiar place, about to die, he was SOMEHOW about to be used for a twisted experiment, he was tied down and drugged. Even if he did manage to escape the restraints, he’d never get out alive. He could barely think straight as it was, he felt groggy but the adrenaline from fear was keeping him awake. This machine, it wasn’t familiar. It seemed new._

_They didn’t even try to kill him first. He was forced through that pain. The pain of his head literally being sliced open, it hurt. It was unbearable. He wished he had way before, at this point he WISHED he had died instead of being alive. His entire life flashed before his eyes, while the words ‘I Promise’ echoed through his mind, he remembered the fun times and the terrifying times. He felt like he had taken everything for granted. He closed his eyes as the unbearable ringing started again, but.. Instead of ringing.. It was silence. It was LOUD silence. If you asked him to explain it now he’d barely be able to explain it in words. It was deafening silence and he didn’t know why the machine was on so he should be able to hear it. But now.. He could hear a faint voice, the sound of muffled singing, like a hum. The sound was a little clearer, it sounded like his sister but.. With a mixture of another voice, the voice was familiar but definitely wasn’t his sisters. The voices were singing the same song though_

He was slowly brought back to reality, (Y/N) was humming (favorite song). He looked at them silently, just listening.. It made him feel somewhat calmer. Revenant was surprisingly thankful that they did that, it helped snap him back to the real world. He hated when this happened, it was why he spent almost 100% of his day in his room. It didn’t take rocket science to tell that he wasn’t stable in any way, one might even say he suffered from insanity; which would be very likely. Revenant also obviously has self-hatred, from how many people, not JUST the legends, hate him; it’s not surprising.

Whenever people ask (Y/N) why they help the simulacra and why they try to stand up for him, they explain simply “He was programmed to do what he did, if you want someone to blame then Hammond Robotics is right there. It’s their fault that Revenant is like this.” Revenant had overheard something like this one, but he would never admit that it felt good to know someone somehow cared.

The humming stopped and Revenant growled some "why'd you stop?" He asked, trying not to be obvious that he liked it but.. Revenant sucks at hiding things and showing things so he honestly failed at that "why?" (Y/N) asked curiously, they already knew but it was fun to tease the robot. "Just wondering.." he averted his eyes and (Y/N) smirked "why were you wondering?" "Keep humming." "Why?" "I told you too"

At this point they were teasing Revenant for the heck of it "but WHY did you tell me to?" They grinned mischievously "because I told you to, now get off my case" he growled, getting irritated, but if he's being honest with himself.. He could barely hurt (Y/N), the most he could do was maybe hit them in the back of the head, but never kill.

_He’d begged and pleaded, he just wanted to go home, but it was too late. Soon enough, everything went dark.. It seemed somewhat… peaceful. Everything seemed still and calm, there was silence. But not an eerie silence, it was a comforting silence, he liked it. He didn’t feel much pain aside from a stinging sensation, and that of pins and needles, other than that.. Nothing hurt. He felt blood on him, yes, and he had a light headache. What struck as odd was he couldn’t see anything. It was nothingness, no not just pitch black, but literal nothing. No color, nothing at all. If you asked him to explain it, he wouldn’t be able to because there is no way to put it in words, even as a robot, with access to all over the internet, he still wouldn’t be able to explain it. Maybe this was what blind people saw? Nothing, literally nothing?_

_Whatever, all he knew was… He wasn’t alive. There’s no way he was alive. Soon enough, however, he saw something, light. It looked like sunlight. The room looked familiar, the bed was familiar, the placing of everything, it was his room, he got up but realized something was wrong, he felt.. Lighter.. He looked at the bed again to see a robot, a monstrous robot there, it dawned on him that this robot was what his mind was put into. But, if they did that then how is he here? The robot ‘woke’ up, and got up, doing the exact routine he used to do, “But… you aren’t a human…” Zacharie mutterd lowly, watching as his heart dropped “What.. did they do..?” He questioned out loud, the boy saw a bounty come and followed the robot out of the house and to the destination. Zacharie tried to get the bot’s attention but it couldn’t see him._

_“Damn it..”_

_Days went by, days turned into weeks and weeks turned to months. Zacharie saw this robot, that had his mind, die multiple times. They had copies of it, Zahcarie appeared in the robot's dreams, but everytime he seemed to startle it, and it’d ‘wake up’. He didn't know how, considering the simulacrum was literally a killing machine, but I digress. The robot seemed to think it was human, because of programming, so Zacharie let it slip._

“I wish..” Revenant muttered lowly, barely audible. “Wish what?” (Y/N) asked, tilting their head in confusion. “Hm? Nothing.” He shook his head and averted his optics “When will you learn to stop lying?” They asked and he shrugged “When hell freezes over” “True” Revenant's eyes turned to a darker shade of orange instead of the normal gold he has. “Tell me” (Y/N) said simply, “I wish I could have my old body back..” He growled some, this was a sensitive topic, he’d said this multiple times. Yet somehow he could talk to (Y/N) about literally anything. From his past to likes and dislikes to even different Apex matches. “You know how transgender people and I’m pretty sure nonbinary people feel dysphoria? Gender Dysphoria?” Revenant asked with that small tilt he did sometimes. “Yeah, kind of… Why?” They asked “That’s kinda like what I feel. But instead of gender dysphoria, it’s body dysphoria or dysmorphia.” He said and they nodded “I can understand that. You’re supposed to be a human, you were once a human, and now you’re in a basically immortal human body, and have been in that for over 200 years..” They sighed softly “The people who did this to have a special place in hell..” Revenant growled in frustration, his optics turning to a red color, “I agree. There’s a special place in hell for ALL of Hammond Robotics AND the Syndicate.” (Y/N) crossed their arms

“I wanna show them what real pain is..” Revenant said lowly, he couldn’t help himself balling a fist. “Calm down, I know you’re still upset with them” They said gently, “I would say breathe but technically… you can’t” They said with a small chuckle and Revenant snickered and nodded “True, but I can simulate it” He pointed out and (Y/N) nodded with a grin

_Finally the faithful day came. The day he figured out what he was. The robot got a bounty for a thief who stole things worth thousands of Apex Coins. He accepted, as always, and went to find the man. Marcos Andrade. Oh boy._

_He bust through the window, Zacharie watched the scene unfold right before his eyes. There was a child there._ **_THERE WAS A CHILD THERE!_ ** _He would never realistically kill a child as there, he may have been fairly ruthless as a hitman, going as far as to kill women, the elderly, animals, and even elderly women. But he would never kill a child. Let alone, kill her own parents in front of her. He could only imagine the trauma that the child would have afterwards. He tried to scream, but nothing came out. He tried to scream for the robot to stop, but no one could see or hear him, he hated it. The child cried and people were killed and gutted left and right._

_“W-What the hell are you?!...” The man, Marcos, asked with a stutter and a small whimper_

**_“Death”_ **

_The bot's mouth didn’t even MOVE. It broke his neck, it’s shoulder was somewhat dislocated but it fixed it back into place like it was normal. There was a large shard of glass in the robot's neck, he walked by a kind of shattered mirror, that’s when he saw it. It didn’t see the human face anymore, it saw a robotic face for a split moment, ‘Revenant’ yanked the glass out, it saw the boy, the blonde boy that ‘haunted’ it in it’s dreams. The boy had the same face as he, well… the same face he DID have. But.. There was blood all over the young male. A bullet wound obvious on his forehead, blood still somehow trickling down his head and to his chin, his neck looked like it was decapitated and then sewed back into place, the male had red tear stains, like he cried blood and instead of normal tears. “You should’ve listened to me, but you found out like this.. Are you happy with yourself?” Zacharie asked, the simulacrum looked at the male beside him in the reflection “I was not someone to be running from. You just never let me speak. You idiot.” Zacharie seemed somewhat annoyed and angered._

_The simulacrums eyes turned to a red hue and his hand turned into a blade, he shattered the rest of the glass_

Revenant still has that boy as a reminder of what he once was. It was kind of comforting, he was still able to see what he KIND OF looked like as a human. The young male with-in his head helped him, he remembered his name now, thanks to the dead one. He likes to think of it like DID. Because technically, he does have trauma. Zacharie sometimes was in control, that’s why he was sometimes more laid back, especially around (Y/N). Zacharie liked (Y/N), they were nice. Revenant didn’t blame him, he liked them too. They were sweet and understanding. He hated that he felt vulnerable and weak.. But also liked that he could actually **trust** someone. “That was the past though, maybe one day you’ll be able to fix it, or.. At the very least.. Destroy all of Hammond Robotics and the Syndicate.” (Y/N) said, sitting beside Revenant. He nodded with an artificial sigh “Yeah… One day.. I’m not giving up on that one, that’s for sure.”


End file.
